Changing...

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine posted on Facebook a song by 'Mercy Me' called 'Wishful Thinking'. The song describes the realization that the way God intended for me to live my life was different from what I use to think and believe.
It wasn't all wrong, just that I had to shift my main focus on Him, rather than being focus on 'how to be a good Christian'.
I first had to learn how to be His child first and foremost. This never ends. Being His child meant I had to be discipled by Him. I had to learn how to be God's child.
Being His child means more than reading my bible, and praying everyday, and going to church. I have been doing that, and still my focus was not completely on Him.
Being His child meant I had to want to be with Him, 24/7. Not just knowing He is with me, but me being with Him. The difference is the focus. When I know He is with me and I am content with that, I don't always focus on Him and what He is saying and teaching me. However, when I am with Him, my complete self-heart, mind, and soul is focus 100% on Him and what He is saying.
I use to think I can only accomplish that in worship times, or in church services, conferences etc. Or a good quiet time. Outside of that, I am doing what I read in the bible, and what I was taught on how to be a good Christian.
But now, when I surrendered how I think, and how I feel, and my right to make my decisions etc, and become yoked with Him, I can't run off to do things my way, or how I think it to be right, because that means coming from inside the yoke. That means that I am no longer with Him.
Being with Him brings change to every little and large area of my life. It is simply amazing and peaceful and restful. 
Being with Him means I wait for His say so to do, think, feel, say, live. I always wait for His leading, for His instructions,  for Him to show me how.  I am always content with just being with Him.
Sounds iresponsible? Lazy? No faith?
I know. I felt those same things too. Still do. I am learning how to deal with all that. It is even worse when you get questioned. The embarrassment, not understanding. .. My comfort is a lot didn't understand Jesus either, and I am yoked with Him, so.... And just check who didn't understand Jesus!
I remain yoked with Him.
Will you?

Dwindling fears....

Remaining yoked with Christ, I notice that I am not as fearful any more. Whenever fear threatens to overcome me, I just remain focus on Christ and relax in His presence. Then peace and rest flows.
My fears were many, as I found out when I journaled them. 
Fear of not being the woman, leader, wife, friend, sister or mother I am supposed to be. I wanted to be the best and a shinning example, only to find out that God just wants me to remain in Him and be obedient to Him.
I also feared that people would find out that I wanted a break from being the best and shinning example. A really long break.
Now, I don't fear it so much. As long as I am where God wants me, I need not fear anything. No matter who understood or not, it doesn't change how God views me.
The thoughts of impending embarrassment from people seeing my fears doesn't plague me anymore. His peace and rest reigns.
And although, sometimes, I wish others would understand, and the pain of not getting that understanding threatens to overcome me, I still remain in God's peace and rest and ever close to Him.
Are you as close as He wants you to be?